So, there’s a pretty great expression from the protest left, “Become Ungovernable.” It’s great because it expresses a pretty great sentiment. If you want things to change, you have to embody that change. You cannot be governed. You cannot be corralled or controlled. You will fight for, you will live in, the world you wish to see.

Today, I’d like to express a different sentiment, but one that I hope can be equally transformative for people.

Become unlovable. Are you tired of trying to find love and being rejected? Are you tired of the creeping dread in the back of your mind that you’re going to be alone?

Let’s face it, folks, not everyone gets married, or gets 2.5 kids. Some of us just don’t get that. Some of us aren’t conventionally attractive, some of us aren’t suited to romantic relationships, some of us aren’t interested in them in the first place. Some of us have living or other situations that just aren’t conducive to having a relationship.

For whatever reason, some of us just aren’t going to have that life. And it’s killing us. It makes us depressed, sad, sorrowful. It makes us feel like we’re failures, life’s losers. We are the great forgotten, the left behind, the useless, the loveless.

But we are fucking not! You rock. I rock. I am interesting, I am intelligent, I’m funny. I have a crap ton of valuable qualities that make me a good, interesting, fun to be around person. And what’s more, I like my own company. So stop putting stock in rom-coms and the nuclear family. Be yourself, be proud of who and what you are, and become unlovable. Stop trying to change yourself to fit into a mold you never signed up for. Stop trying to force yourself to be this picture of lovability. Become unlovable. Live for yourself, for the platonic relationships in your life. For your pets, or your parents, or your siblings and friends. Be the absolute fucking star you are, and lovability be damned.